Reflecting

I have been taking many deep breaths lately reflecting on my life. I find myself walking in such a peaceful contentment with my life so humbling that those deep breaths become lumps in my throat as I work to hold back tears of joy.

For my oldest it was independence. He found it in horses, the farm, outdoors, working with his hands. Building and tinkering. He found it in entrepreneurship and leading others. He finds it now in his work in Biomedical Engineering automation and riding his Harley on the weekends with his wife of almost 10 years. He finds it on the living room floor building Legos with his beautiful little girl who thinks just like him For our girl in the middle, er uh, center, she prefers the center - it was faith, art, music, fandoms, and volunteering. She is a nurturer and a creative. She writes, does graphic design, creates incredible resources and decor for other homeschooling moms. She is a Le Cordon Bleu Pastry Chef and baker of the most delectable breads. She leads her 3 children in homeschool adventures and loves a quiet life with her sweet husband the kids.

For the youngest it was creating - building, crafting, drawing, writing, filming, sculpting, engineering and robotics.

It could have been a real challenge for William. In many ways he is a lone wolf. He likes people around, just not up in his grill and certainly not in the way of what he wants to do. He really is brilliant. His spelling left a lot to be desired when he was young, his penmanship (unless he is focused on it) would have been described as chicken scratch then. I say that so you know I really am objective and not just blowing sunshine around. Those things bored him, and bogged down his process.

When he was 12 he loved to create simple machines, complex machines, he filmed claymation movies, he wrote wonderful creative stories -fanciful and exciting. He drew without ceasing. He spent his days creating. As I watched his machines get more interesting, I decided he might enjoy a Lego Robotics Club. As He always does God provided a way. A new team was just forming, space was available and he joined the competition team straight away. It was hard to find a team with space available so a new team, well it was pretty unusual.

As I sat and watched the team meetings, for a few weeks, things looked very off with my son. He wasn't getting in there. When he tried showing his designs and his ideas the coaches were lost in the scratch and scribble (this is important to note). He wasn't taken seriously. They judged his ideas by his handwriting. He wasn't building, he wasn't contributing. He was fiddling and becoming frustrated, which meant his patience was about to run out.

He really wanted his own Mindstorm Robot, $350. He was dying to get his hands on one to build and program. I'm not paying for all that and he never asked because - let's face it, he grew up in this house and mom doesn't make it rain that way, you better come to me with a proposal. He did. He sold ALL 38 of his Skylanders and 2 portals and banked $200. I sold 2 pieces of recently redone furniture (I used to have a business in this) and I paid the rest. He spent the week designing the most amazing robots. He coded them on the Mac and uploaded the programs to the robot "brain". At the next meeting the team was against the wall. Their first competition was in a few weeks they had nothing built, no design, no plan. He took in his own robot and demonstrated his program. They coaches were floored and the team unanimously agreed to use his design. He set about sharing how to construct it with his team, how to program it. He shined. He came home feeling respected. Which is really what all of us want from our peers.

What he learned, what this experience provided for him that no amount of me flapping my gums could offer, is that those things like writing, spelling, and neatness can matter. We are Relaxed Homeschoolers by philosophy. I believe and trust children to recognize the value of good things and choose them. I learned to get out of the way by parenting with natural consequences and leaving space for life to teach lessons. The kids and I often talk at length about the whole experience.

Thinking about it lately, led me to think of all the kids, our parenting and homeschool journey and of all the times I had the privilege of leading them to water, then took a seat on the banks of the river and watch them drink their fill.

How blessed this life as their mother has made me. I'm their mom. I know their tender hearts as well as I know my own. I've listened to them and Interpreted their every breath from the moment I felt them. The power I have had, the responsibility, it was sacred to me. Their success, as they are grown now, is all theirs. They always chose when and what to drink. And I rest and rejoice now in knowing that my life is well spent being