My Kid Never Won a Spelling Bee

My kids never won a Spelling Bee. They never carried their team to a state title in a sport either. But my children are exceptional, extraordinary human beings.

Deeply rooted in their faith the love that was poured out over them by God, and by extension my husband and I, extends to all those who cross their path. They are kind to everyone. They are good. Not in the deep down sense like, they are good but it takes a bit of an excavation to get there kind of way. No, they are good, through and through.

Somehow in all the hustle and chaos of a busy homeschool life we managed to raise the kinds of kids who see people. They saw the child on the playground who was on the sideline and they always invited them to join. They were aware of the children in our circles of friends who had special needs and they made time to have them over for visits. One friend of mine has an incredible son, who happens to be on the spectrum. She was worried the first time my son invited him over to hang out and sleepover. He'd never been invited to do that and she was racked with concerns about how he would do. After assuring her that we could abort the mission with no problem at anytime if he found it overwhelming she decided to let him try. He was just fine. My son understood that he needed extra time to transition, patience with making decisions and that he might not play along the way he would like all the time. Sometimes they just played with legos separately but together. Seeing my own sometimes quirky children, respond with so much love to others told me whatever we were doing, it was the right. These kids had a heart for volunteering, for service and for loving their fellow man. They worked on Domestic Mission Trips, Community Projects, Orphanages and helped the poor and homeless in a hundred different ways. Compassion defines them. Stray dogs, injured birds, fostering puppies from the shelter, they needed to help wherever they could. I carried a baby bird in my pocket for a week feeding it because they had found it. We nursed baby rabbits and even a squirrel once. They notice things. Driving through the neighborhood after a snow they see the driveway at our elderly neighbor's that hasn't been shoveled and they just do it. They see the man in the wheelchair loading groceries at the store. They just see them. My daughter would go visit with the lady across the street because she was older and often lonely. In her 80's she loved to watch Dog the Bounty Hunter and she would tell my daughter all about the bail jumpers Dog had caught. They also share a common trait. They are slow to anger and quick to forgive. Oftentimes they see past the behaviors people push forward and they look beyond them to someone in pain. They are defenders though and have no problem turning over the tables of the money lenders if the need arises. They are strong. My youngest came home one day from playing at a neighbor's house to tell me he had almost gotten in a fight and that he wasn't sorry. He and several other kids from (11-13) were playing capture the flag outside a neighbor's house when another young man in the neighborhood came over. He was also 13, like my son and he started making comments about one of the boys weight. He called him a name that included the word "fat" and my son flew into him. Chest to chest he told him to leave and never come back. My friend's children said he backed him all the way out of the yard and then stood there until he was out of sight. I was so proud of him. He never won a science fair. He struggled with reading until he was probably 10 years old. He thought being forced to shower was the parenting equivalent to water boarding but you know what, he was a good man. At just 13 he was a good man and I knew I had nothing to worry about for him or his future. When I was a teenage girl and I first came to know Christ there was an Amy Grant song that spoke so powerfully to my heart that 33 years later it continues to be a prayer for me. "My Father's Eyes". A longing to see others with the eyes of our heavenly Father. "Eyes full of compassion, seeing every pain." "Eyes that find the good in things when good is not around. Eyes that find the source of help, when help just can't be found."

The opening words say, "I may not be every mother's dream for her little girl." But that she longs for one thing, to have her Father's Eyes. My kids may not be everyone's dream child. I've been much more concerned with raising would-be saints than would-be scholars. They are hilarious, gentle and hard working. They aren't Harvard graduates. They didn't master any concertos at the age of 3 or shout "Hi Mom" from an end zone but I think they are pretty exceptional. They are really good people. They love the Lord, they love their spouses and children, they treasure their family and the world is a better place with them in it. Kids can win Spelling Bees and state titles AND also be wonderful people of course. It's also okay to just raise good people. For me, I just love these kids and the people they have become. They have have their Father's eyes and that was my only parenting goal.