I'm Thankful For My Stained Carpet

Maybe you see the stains, maybe you don't. The camera really doesn't do them justice. But they are there, I assure you. I see them every time I vacuum and I work on them each time I shampoo these old carpets. I would love new dark hardwood floors in my home. (Who wouldn't, right?) I might get them one day. For now there are other priorities. Last weekend we hosted a reception following the Baptism of our identical twin grandsons. My daughter Lindsey and son-in-law Anthony's boys. We had 42 people packed into our home. It was busy and crowded and it was wonderful.

I was so happy to invite all those people into my most imperfect home. I don't know if they noticed that we haven't quite gotten around to touching up the paint around the doorway in the dining room. Maybe they left thinking how desperately my main bathroom needs updating - like flower shaped lights hanging from brass chains updating sister? For real, it needs a makeover. Maybe as they sat enjoying all the food that was so lovingly prepared for them they looked down and saw the stains on my carpet? I don't know if they did or didn't. But guess what, I don't care. Here's why.

1) My home is a reflection of me and I like us. You know what, we are a work in progress my home and I. There are walls I'm still trying to knock down and walls I want to build. I have lists of improvements I want to make for both of us. I'm chipping away at them and no matter what I do the progress is always slower than I would like. There are changes to be made around this house that would make it prettier, more appealing, more like a magazine cover. Updates that would bring it into this decade. I might get to them or not. I'm not a trend chaser, never have been. It's sketchy chasing trends. About the time I get it right, a new one comes along. It seems a little risky spending so much time, energy and money on something that doesn't endure. I like being current and relevant but I follow my own ideas about things like style and design. I love improvements. I thrive on them really. But people come before things in my life. So often I have the choice between a weekend spent on a project or a weekend spent with people I love enjoying the life we already have in front of us.

2) I don't have people in my life who judge us by what's on the outside. There are no interior design critics in my life who would come in and look around and wonder why we haven't invested in new flooring. No one is having coffee with me at the Coffeehouse or here in my living room to assess how either of us look. Quite the contrary. I have a life filled with friends who appreciate the real me in my real house, stains and all. Something pretty cool happens when you curate your friends and the people you invite into your home carefully. You build a bouquet of amazing human beings who love you and who look past the outside appearance to who you really are as a person. They have been around long enough to understand that some of those projects are on hold because of serious health issues or life happening so fast you can't catch up. They don't see the stains, they see priorities that are properly ordered. People, before things.

3) I will probably spring for the flooring of my dreams one day. It will look beautiful. Then guess what? There will be another thing. There is ALWAYS another thing. That's how houses work. you change the flooring and then you need a roof, or a water heater and since you are putting in the water heater maybe we should go on and have it moved to the other side of the basement so we can eventually build that storage closet for Christmas decorations you've always wanted. See? You can buy a brand new house. One you designed with Joanna Gaines herself and I promise you immediately after the last box is unpacked you will start thinking of what comes next. An herb garden? A pool? A new deck? Houses are never finished so there can never be anything more than a brief period of satisfaction in a project accomplished.

I'm not saying don't do the projects. Do the projects. What I am saying is be thankful for the stained carpet and wall that needs painting because this home is just like you, a work in progress. Love you, love your home in every state and stage because it's all you've got. And you know what you are both better than you think. You'll make changes and improvements and move on to new challenges be thankful in every stage. The alternative is to decide that you can't be truly happy, truly thankful "until" whatever, fill in the blank. You lose weight, you remodel the kitchen. Whatever. Not me. I'm not putting off my happiness until anything. I'm going to host and entertain, I'm going to put myself and my home out there to people who appreciate us and love us. I'm going to their house too. Where the dog chewed on the doorframe and they miscut the trim by an inch and it doesn't meet in the bathroom. I'm going to chuckle because I know that backstory. Sharing our stains, our past, our failures are just as powerful as sharing our successes, more so. In the nitty gritty, messiness is where life happens and real connections are made. It's where we recognize our humanity and frailties. We can laugh and pass the red wine without worrying about the carpet.